FASHION BABY

I like to think of my personal style as “cool clay teacher”, because when I was a kid the clay teachers at the summer camps I went to were always these super hip young women drinking tea and wearing headbands and peasant tops and scarves and lots and lots of bracelets, and that’s kind of how I dress now. That sounds extremely unhip in writing but trust me, I’m basically a fashion goddess 😉 Also stripes. I love stripes.

I’ve gone through MANY phases of style. There was middle school when I wore anything and everything. In 7th grade I wore a different bow in my hair every single day (ugh). Before that, I went through a horrible mall punk phase, like, waaaay earlier than I should have and for waaaay too long. Thank God for my patient mother. High school wasn’t any different. Freshman year was pretty normal; jeans and t-shirt and the occasional experimental logo sweatshirt. Sophomore year was ROCK BOTTOM. Like, bad. Like, we don’t talk about sophomore year or I will burst into a fit of rage, Hannah can attest. I was hanging out with the cool grunge kids so naturally I took the whole cool grunge thing way too far and cut my hair practically up to my eyeballs and was like kind of androgynous maybe??? But not in a trying to be androgynous way more like, I don’t know how to dress my long gangly body in hip teenager clothes and still look decent way (something I struggle with too this day #tallgirlprobs). By junior year my hair was starting to grow out and I was beginning to develop into a decent and functioning human being! Hurrah!! And now here I sit at Starbucks in my leggings, t-shirt and flip-flops, feeling like a total fool trying to act like I know anything about fashion but doing it anyway. 

Actually, my sophomore-junior year I was like obsessed with fashion (blindly, since I didn’t see how I actually looked in those horrid high-waisted shorts), and convinced myself that I wanted to go into the field as a career and maybe even be a famous fashion designer. LOL. I went to my town’s vocational high school for half a day every day and was in the “Fashion Merchandising” class, where I taught myself how to use a sewing machine incorrectly. The teacher was senile and literally should have been institutionalized, and other girls were SCARY and OUT OF THEIR MINDS and after a whole semester I had a meltdown and quit because I was seriously concerned about losing brain cells. So ended my fashion career as we know it. Seriously, such a waste of time. 

But now I really like my style. I feel like I’m past the point of experimentation minus the occasional a-line skirt. Obviously I’m still learning and changing and whatnot but bitch I’m confident. 

Now, how about some badass photographic evidence to back this bullshit up? I think yes. 

 Hannah and I! Stripes!

 A scarf!

Adjusting the perfection.

 A shirt from Anthropologie/heaven

 #tbt looking cute AND comfortable while picking blueberries

 My fav sneaks

 Our church hats

 Look, pants! Boyfriend jeans make me fashionable, right?

  Us a while back at junior prom. UGH, loved that dress. Hannah’s was…well…

 I like my hair wavy and frizzy in true “cool clay teacher” fashion. My mom gave me that necklace. It says “It’s the journey; you have to depart to arrive”. AWWWWWWWW

 My personal favorite. Us in our every day looks; casual and in our element

Allow me to also direct you to my fashion board on Pinterest, because I fucking love Pinterest. It may not paint the most accurate picture of my personal style, but it’s got some pretty pictures!!

http://www.pinterest.com/emberchance/fashion/ (Emberchance? Who am I?)

xo xo GOSSIP GIRL

I mean, FASHION QUEEN

Oops, I mean, Emma

 

 

 

Emma’s first post

Sometimes I still fantasize that my everyday lie isn’t really my life and I’m actually playing the disoriented-yet-lovable female lead in a cheesy romcom with Hugh Grant and Jennifer Aniston playing my best friends and some fat, rich guy directing and I’m going to make millions!!! Or, from time to time, I might tell myself that I will receive my acceptance letter from Hogwarts any day now, so I should keep practicing my magic spells! And then I wake up and remember that I live in the suburbs and my neighbors are coke-dealing hooligans who drive hummers and blast their bad rap music into all hours of the night (Kanye? TuPac? Am I even spelling TuPac correctly?) and get into their house through the back door after climbing through the hole in the fence. Meanwhile, my bedside table is actually a kitchen stool and my therapist basically just laughs at me at this point (not because I’m funny, mind you) and in the last 2 weeks I’ve been to Target approximately 12 times.

So, yes, you might read all that and say, “Ugh, total basic white girl. #firstworldprobs”, because apparently that’s how the kids talk these days, and to that I would respond, “Hey! You! You’re smelly and have ugly shoes!” because that’s the best I can come up with and I don’t handle criticism well (thanks Mom and Dad).

Where was I going with this? I have no idea, but probably here: If you have a real-life job and you vacuum your room every week instead of waiting as long as it takes for the dust bunnies in the corner to grow to the size of actual bunnies, leave immediately and go have brunch with your well-adjusted friends. If you, however, are 18 or older and the most productive thing you did yesterday was finish an entire season of New Girl while simultaneously scrolling through Instagram until you were pretty sure you definitely had carpal tunnel, welcome, and I’m sorry.

A picture of half my face and my saintly mother (laughing at my dysfunction): the only woman who still loves me after I call her from upstairs to ask her to bring me a soda.